What Happened

Well tonight, technically it was earlier this morning, started out promising.  I was very tired and actually sleepy around 12:30 a.m.  I laid down and drifted off sometime between 1:30 and 2:00 a.m.  Yay...everybody pat hands...not so fast...I woke up at 3:30 a.m. 

It is now 4:30 a.m. and I am blogging and downloading music from iTunes...I'm cool like that!  

So, what happened?  I don't have a clue.  I didn't go to sleep last night (no, wait, it was early yesterday morning) until after 5:00 a.m.  I slept until 10:30 a.m. (that's a really decent amount of sleep for me in one session).  I did not sleep any during the day; no naps.  These facts, combined with my sleepiness earlier, gave me hope that tonight would be a good one.

I'm listening to Jimmy Needham.  That would be the music I was downloading when I was being cool with my multitasking.  I love his voice and his songs have great messages to them.  If you haven't, you should check him out.

I read this quote by Oscar Wilde a day or so ago..."To live is the rarest thing in the world.  Most people exist, that is all."  Isn't that one of the truest and saddest statements you have ever heard?  I know it is for me.  I feel like that's what I'm doing at this moment in my life...just existing.  I don't seem to have the energy to live, but I want to...believe me...I desperately want to live.

It's my desire to live everyday to the fullest extent so that I have no regrets if there is no tomorrow.  With God all things are possible.  I truly believe that and I know that this time in my life is just a season...this too shall pass!

Sleeplessness & Writing

I have suffered from insomnia since I was 15 years old.  I am now 41 and it has only gotten worse.  I used to be able to deal with the deprivation of sleep much better when I was younger.  Another one of the benefits of getting older...feeling like crap and resembling a zombie when you haven't had a decent nights sleep....yeah!

Not sure yet, but I think another side effect of sleeplessness maybe the migraines I have started to suffer with on a very frequent basis these days.  Like I said though, I'm not sure.  At the moment I am waiting to get an appointment with a Neurologist.

Tonight is like so many nights I have.  I am tired, unbelievably so, but I am awake.  It's like there may be a switch inside the brain that normal people turn off when they go to bed and I apparently do not have one of those.

So, what to do with a sleepless night?  Number one, I'm starting this blog.  Number two, I could read.  I love to read, but lately that activity triggers headaches.  Three, I could crochet, but like reading, that also triggers headaches.  It will not surprise me at all if writing/typing does the same.

I am a writer.  Have been my whole life...well, at least since I could read and write.  I've had a few poems and an article published, nothing I got paid for.  I would like to be a paid writer.  So, I have decided to use my sleeplessness to start really focusing on my writing, thus the blog.

Stay tuned....